You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
