Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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