This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
