just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
