90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
