Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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