Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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