I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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