we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize