So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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