Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
