I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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