i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
