just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
