why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
