Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
