You don't have asthma, your pregnant
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
