this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
