He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
