sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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