i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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