Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
birth control should be required to get into college
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
