once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
