Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
