I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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