my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
