remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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