Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize