I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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