dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I would ride that face into the sunset
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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