did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize