the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
