youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
