I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
