She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
