whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
