Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
