I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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