I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
