Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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