Dual....:-)
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
