I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
