My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
