he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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