I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
