Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
