I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
