It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
