I cockslap morals
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
