Define "chronic" masturbator.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
