It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
