I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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