Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
