doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
