I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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