Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
